I recently realized, through conversations, that some of the most amazing, talented, and successful women in my life didn’t see themselves. I invite you to pause with purpose. The thing is, we need to pause, reflect, and celebrate our own accomplishments…without guilt or shame.

You worked hard to get where you are, and you’re working hard to go where you’re headed. You deserve to be seen by others, but more importantly, by yourself. For if we don’t recognize what we’ve built…we won’t be able to help others build. 

I’m clapping for you! The question is, are you clapping for you? 

Here are six reasons why women need self-love to crush their goals.

One: Fuel up with self-love

Think of yourself as a luxury car; it requires premium unleaded gasoline. If you put regular unleaded in your tank, you get poor performance; whereas, when you put premium unleaded in, you get optimal performance. That’s how your goals are; misaligned inputs lead to misaligned outputs. Sure, you can get away with regular unleaded for a while, but eventually you want your car to perform better.

 Two: External validation

External validation will have you perpetually chasing perfection, which is exhausting. When creating the blueprint for achieving your dream-sized goals, you deserve a roadmap that accurately reflects who you are. 

In goal crushing, the differentiator from external noise and internal truths is joy. You can leverage your inner joy as a car would premium unleaded gasoline. When joy becomes your compass, you can achieve anything you put your mind to.

Imagine a goal-crushing method focused on your internal truths rather than external validation. A method that creates space for you to lean on your internal joy and create an aligned vision for your life with supporting goals. Goals that are not overwhelming and build on each other over time. Something you can legitimately move forward with.

Three:  Joy-based goals = more motivation + faster success

When your goals are rooted in joy, you’re more excited about them and accomplish them faster because they no longer feel like a mundane task to check off the list. When you’re clear on your goals, you can build community more easily, as it comes naturally since you have goals and joy factors you’re excited to talk about. Then, once you have joy- based goals and a network that supports them, you’re ready to be a leader who helps others succeed. 

Four: Being mindful of creating goals rooted in joy and to stride away from the pressures of not doing so. 

Nobody plans to fail at achieving their goals. It’s not about discipline either. They simply don’t have a framework for setting and achieving goals that align with who they are as a person and as a leader. There is a lot of pressure to be perfect, but not enough space to pause and be yourself. Be mindful of the pressures as they can distract you from creating goals rooted in your joy.

 When writing a goal down on paper, if you feel like you’re writing it to make someone else happy or as though it’s the “right” thing to do, you might be succumbing to pressure rather than joy. On the other hand, when writing a goal that’s rooted in joy, you will feel motivated by the goal regardless of how difficult it is to achieve. Pressure is the “shoulds” of the world; whereas, joy is the alignment that actually works for you. 

Stop looking at outer worldly expectations by clipping magazine photos of someone else’s world, which is manufactured marketing. Instead, try getting up close and personal with your own unique joy by taking time to dig deep and define it for yourself, which, admittedly, can be scary if you’re not ready to confront yourself on an introspective journey. 

Five: Balanced life

The world has programmed us to separate and compartmentalize our lives, as though one aspect doesn’t affect the others. Focus instead on the interconnectedness of the four key areas of life.

1. Personal: Being strategic with your life

2. Professional: Being productive with your career

3. Health: Being consistent with your well-being

4. Financial: Being intentional about your monetary resources

The four key areas of life are not at odds with one another; they coexist harmoniously. Each of the four key areas of life is interconnected and has equal meaning in and for your life. 

Think of it this way: When work is misaligned, it often leaks into finances through burnout, turnover, or stalled growth. When health suffers, it can affect the ability to focus at work, attributable to pain or brain fog. When financial worries become a constant, a scarcity mindset can impede the ability to dream of creative options due to fear or uncertainty. When personally unfulfilled, the sense of purpose can disappear, spilling over into a lack of motivation at work or in general.

Six:  Purpose with self love

You deserve a balanced life filled with joy and purpose.

Creating a lifestyle rooted in joy takes time, practice, commitment, and repetition. Be kind to yourself throughout your journey in joy. Think of the grace you give your closest friend, and then look into a mirror to receive that same grace. 

Joy may have been modeled for you. Joy may have been introduced to you. And now, joy is yours to practice in perpetuity.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bose Akadiri is The Joy Amplifier™. She’s a motivational keynote speaker, corporate trainer, author, and CEO of Goal and Grind LLC where she partners with high-achieving professionals and forward-thinking organizations to leverage joy as a strategic advantage for setting goals, building strong teams and creating meaningful results. Renowned for her dynamic corporate workshops, Bose empowers dreams, elevates teams, and transforms organizations. She has led a distinguished career in Corporate Social Responsibility at Boeing, Salesforce, and JPMorgan Chase.

She is the author of the new book, The Stay Joyful Method: Using Joy as a Tool to Rise, Lead, and Redefine Success [April 28, 2026 | Press 49].